This blog is not for other people’s reading pleasure. It’s not meant to make money, it’s not used to further an agenda.
This blog keeps my life in alignment, to reveal the broken pieces that I try so hard to hide in real life.
How many times have you wished you could test your thoughts out in the world to see if they were normal, but were too afraid because of how you imagined people would react? My life has been so consumed with protecting my identity, a false image of someone who has it together, that I forsake the person who lives only in the brain matter. That person who feels every range of emotion, but only physically displays a filtered, watered down, muted version of those emotions. They simply aren’t safe.
This blog allows those emotions to find a home. It’s relatively obscure and yet offers a level of risk that makes me uneasy so that I get out of my comfort zone with each post. It provides a place for me to be totally honest with the world, while not having to have these conversations with people I meet on a regular basis. This blog is far more therapeutic than for the pleasure, entertainment or informing of an audience. If someone doesn’t like what I write, it’s okay. They don’t get a vote in my joy. I write for me. It’s the only way to remain sane. I write to release the pent up words that my mind can’t construct verbally. It gives me a way to slow down my thoughts and not bore someone to death. But if this bores you, STOP READING.
All this allows me to keep my outward life and my inward life in alignment. I feel that as long as I’m being honest online, any pretenses or false identities I wear in front of other people, the two equal each other out. I’m not two-faced, but when you deal with pain on a regular basis, you must hide it for your sake and for the sake of those around you. It’s just not practical to present that side of life to friends and family and ask them to deal with it. That’s not fair. It’s also not fair to have to hold everything inside. So this is my life. Written.